Family Helped by 'Annie's Hope' Pays it Forward

When Scott Givens died two years ago, his wife and three children were left reeling from their loss. But they found solace in a partnership with Glendale-based , a bereavement center for children, teens and their families.

To say thank you for all that Annie’s Hope did for them that first year, the Givens family organized a benefit roller hockey game that raised $4,000 for the center. Now they’re gearing up for round two of “Hockey for Hope” on May 20 at Queeny Park.

“Annie's Hope means so much to our family,” said Shannon Givens, the mother of Ben, 11, Abby, 8, and Sam, 2. “We are happy to help educate others about the wonderful people that helped us through the hardest time of our life.”

Givens, 38, of Sunset Hills, hopes that by sharing her story of loss she will reach others who might benefit from Annie’s Hope. And she’s passionate about raising money to help Annie’s Hope expand its mission.

“I do believe there has to be something good that comes out of this,” she said of her husband’s death from cancer at age 40. “I believe all of us somehow will affect other people in a positive way.”

Annie’s Hope was founded in 1998 to provide support services for children, teens and their families who are grieving the death of someone significant. In its first year, Annie’s Hope served about 50 families. By 2009, that number had risen to 2,500 children, teens and adults.

Named for a 13-year-old girl who fought leukemia and lived every day to its fullest, the center is based in the Christian Life Center at the corner of Berry Road and Lockwood Avenue.

It offers support groups, family social events, camps, retreats and an anticipatory grief program called Horizons, which is how the Givens family first got involved.

Shannon Givens called on Annie’s Hope shortly before her husband died in 2009. A therapist came to the family’s door almost immediately and helped Shannon through the difficult and emotional task of telling her children their dad was dying.

“That was probably the hardest thing of all,” Givens said. “She stayed all day and the next day. She did incredible activities with us … helping us say goodbye.”

After Scott’s death, Shannon and the children continued with Annie’s Hope, learning to find ways to live with their loss.

Shannon and the oldest two children attended grief support groups. Ben and Abby also attended Camp Courage, an overnight camp for children who have recently lost someone significant such as a parent or a sibling.

“I liked that I could meet people that have gone through the same thing as me and not feel like nobody else knows what you’re going through,” said Ben, now a fifth grader at Truman Elementary School.

Shannon benefited from a parents’ group.

“In my particular group there were four or five other women who had lost their husbands in the past year,” she said. “They really understood everything you worry about.”

But now it’s time to give back, she said.

Last year, she and some of her husband’s hockey friends organized a benefit roller hockey game at Queeny Park. Scott had been an avid hockey fan, playing ice hockey when he was younger and roller hockey as an adult.

He introduced Shannon to the sport when they first started dating and put Ben on skates almost as soon as he could walk.

“He taught me everything I know,” Shannon said. “Now I’m a total hockey mom.”

For the benefit, Ben Givens designed a special “Hockey for Hope” T-shirt and got to skate with his dad’s friends. There were raffles and pizza sales and face painting and special jerseys for the players. This year’s event will also be held at the indoor rink at Queeny Park in Ballwin.

Givens knows that her husband would be proud of the ways she and their children have found to cope with their grief.

“He would be absolutely thrilled that we are now paying it forward,” she said. “I believe that he smiles down on us every day and I am sure that we are making him proud while we attempt to help make a little bit of a difference in his honor.”