Local Dads Find Ultimate Joy in Fatherly Sacrifice

Cliff Robinson was 22 when he was in medical school and expecting his first child with his wife, Jennifer. To make things a little easier financially, he decided to join the military.

“We realized it would be too hard to pay for medical school and have the child, so I took an Air Force scholarship,” Robinson said.

That was 17 years ago. Now, eight children later at age 39, Robinson works what can be odd hours as an ER doctor.

 “I sort of never envisioned having eight kids,” said Robinson, a Ballwin resident for 6 years. “I was an only child and I thought about maybe having one kid.”

The eight Robinson children range from ages 4 to 17. Although he and his wife didn't necessarily plan for eight children, the joy that comes with fatherhood is worth the sacrifices, Robinson said.

“I only sacrifice sleep—it makes more time for everything else,” Robinson said, smiling.

One of the most rewarding parts of fatherhood, he said, is seeing the milestones of his children like when they've learned how to read or first ride a bike.

“Even though I’ve taught seven kids so far to ride a bike, every one is still special."

Robinson and his wife try to give their children exposure to a range of activities while they're young and eager. Although the kids are allowed the freedom to discover their own interests, each of them is required to play the violin. The youngest child, Isaac, 4, just began playing, while Rebecca, the oldest, is in the midst trying out for the youth symphony orchestra this summer. She already made it through the first round of cuts.

“We don’t try to push them as much as give them opportunities,” Robinson said. “It’s all about shaping them into the person they may be.”

A central part of that process takes place at the kitchen table, he said. The family tries to have dinner together as often as possible, which usually is at least six days a week. Their Sunday breakfasts together requires they make 36 eggs, a triple batch of pancakes and 2 or sometimes 3 pounds of bacon.

Despite the lack of sleep Robinson gets between work and taking care of the kids, he said, the odd hours of a career in emergency medicine gives him opportunities such as going on field trips with his children. Being a doctor is a job, but it isn't his life, he said.

“I enjoy my work, but it’s a means to an end,” Robinson said. “I could work a lot more and make a lot of money, or I could just keep going and we could do okay. I’d rather see our kids.”

Fatherly Influence

For Ballwin resident Don Anselm, music is the loving bond shared between him and his daughter, Lauren.

“I used to sing to put her to sleep,” he said. “She still remembers that.”

Now, Lauren, who is 21, studies dance and musical theater at Lindenwood University. She's the oldest of Anselm’s two children. Anselm’s son, Blake, is 14 and has been playing soccer since he was 3 when his dad started to coach him.

“At the end of the season, if I got the kids going in the right direction (down the field), it was a huge victory,” Anselm said. “I’ve been coaching him for about 11 or 12 years now.”

Anselm said his involvement with his kids’ lives was a lesson he learned from his own dad.

“All through grade school and high school, I don’t think my dad missed one of my soccer games,” Anselm said. “He was always there on the sideline. Presence is the real gift.”

He said now that his kids are a bit older, he enjoys seeing them grow into their own person. The goal, he said, is to send them out into the world as happy, good contributors to society.

Recently, Anselm was approached by one of Blake’s teachers, he said, who told him Blake went out of his way to befriend a classmate who was struggling to fit in. Anselm was thrilled.

“It’s about a great quote by Mother Teresa: ‘In this life we cannot always do great things, but we can do small things with great love,’” Anselm said. “I think that’s a big part of parenting—doing a lot of small things with great love.”

The Bigger, The Better

Whenever one of his 11 children goes off to college, Fred Vilbig can’t help but notice how quiet the house becomes, despite the number of kids still living at home.

“It’s funny how before you have a child, you think everything is fine, and after you have the child, it’s kind of like, how do you get along without them?” said Vilbig, who lives in Ellisville.

He and his wife Diane’s 11 children range in age from 10-year-old twins to 29. He said when he and his wife were dating, Diane said she wanted six kids, and he wanted five.

“We both got our wish,” he said with a laugh. “We kind of argue day-to-day whose is whose.”

Vilbig and his wife have been married for almost 30 years and attend Holy Infant Catholic Church in Ballwin.

“We take our faith seriously and we were open to whatever God gave us, and it happened to be 11 kids,” he said.

Vilbig said it's fun to watch each of his children grow up and see how they approach things differently.

“The dinner conversations are just fascinating,” he said. “I sit and listen to them and they have some very animated conversations. I just think it’s neat.”

Vilbig said he and his wife get all kinds of reactions from people when they find out how many children they have. Although being a dad is a lot of work, he said he doesn’t know if anything else in his life is worth the effort more than fatherhood.

“If we had chosen to have fewer kids, we’d be going on more vacations and have nicer cars and all that,” he said. “I’ve never really been into cars or big houses or fancy clothes. The kids are so much more rewarding than the things.”