Community Corner

Mom's Talk: Policing the Fashion Police

This week, the Ballwin-Ellisville Patch Mom's Council offers some insight into when and why certain outfits cross the line.

It's no secret that finding common ground on clothing choices between kids and their parents isn't always easy. The Ballwin-Ellisville Patch Mom's Council takes a look this week at why these decisions are important, and offers some suggestions on how to prevent a scandal.

Cam's Take (Cam Compton has been a resident of Ellisville for more than 35 years. She is the mother of two daughters, ages 16 and 28, and is raising a 9 year-old granddaughter.)

As long as my kids are living under my roof, I should have a say in the clothes they wear, although I admit that enforcement isn’t exactly perfect when you’re dealing with a high school student. Still, I think anything that is especially short, tight, shows the midriff or has text written across the old’ gluteus maximus (a trend I personally hate), all are grounds for shooting down an outfit.

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Why is this stuff important? Because I can’t help but partially judge a child or teen based on what they’re wearing and I know others do, too. I know that isn’t always right, but it’s something I try to make my girls understand – that a first impression is important, and how you dress is a big part of that.

I already have found myself having problems with clothes with my 9-year-old granddaughter, and shopping for my daughters wasn’t much easier when they were younger.

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We shopped ‘til we dropped when she needed a formal dress for the year-end dance following an etiquette class years ago and still couldn’t find something appropriate. Every dress was backless, split, or showed way more cleavage than would be appropriate for a dress bound for an 11-year-old.

It’s still hard to have a lot of say by the time your daughter is 16, but thankfully I don’t have to worry too much about her choices. As for our 9-year-old, I just hope that as she grows up, we keep helping her make good choices so by the time she’s making them on her own, there won’t really be a problem.

Shireen's Take: (Shireen Kinzy is a Ballwin resident, and the mother of two children, ages 8 and 10.)

I hate to admit it, but I can be pretty judgmental when I’m walking through the mall and see a 14 year-old girl dressed like a 24-year-old. I think to myself, “Who lets their daughter leave the house with a low cut t-shirt and tight pants that say ‘Juicy’ across the backside?’”

This is easy for me to say in part because my daughter is only 10 and really isn’t yet interested in fashion. However, I know that time is just around the bend, and I’m trying to plant some of those seeds of concern in her mind now.

Some of the values we’ve tried to instill in her through the years: We have taught her that some clothes are appropriate and inappropriate depending on the situation – something most people know as adults but readily is lost on kids.  It’s important that she not only learns to respect herself, but show respect for others on those special occasions. In that sense, she represents herself and her family.

The most important thing, I think, that we can teach is just how much more she’s worth than just the appearance of her body or how attractive the clothes on it are.

And I do compliment her when she looks nice on a special occasion.  However, the majority of compliments she hears are about her personality, talents and her mind. I think this is one of the reasons she is not interested in dressing like a 21-year-old going to a night club. We’ve taught her that beauty is only skin deep, and I can only hope that she remembers these values in a few years when she’s a teenager roaming the mall with friends.


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