Health & Fitness
The Metamorphosis of Our Children
Katy McKinney, who lives just outside Ballwin, recalls a valuable lesson on growth, patience and the course of life learned from her own young daughter.
When a pregnant woman is in the last 4-8 weeks of her pregnancy, it can sometimes feel like forever before she will welcome her new little one. Moreoever, the physical toll a women's body goes through those last few weeks can be draining.
However, having been through two pregnancies, each one completely different, I like think of those last few weeks in a totally different way. I believe there is a right time for everything (especially a birth) and the mother's days (or last few weeks) can be focused on patience, love, and yielding to a new rhythm of life.
Recently, we caught a caterpillar and put it in a jar. We fed it lettuce and fresh water, and did everything we could to make it comfortable. After about three weeks, it went into a cocoon. About three weeks more passed and nothing. My husband and I discussed that we think the little guy did not complete his metamorphosis because the way his cocoon was formed was a bit unconventional.
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We decided that because we were getting close to four weeks in its cocoon, it might be best to throw it away. We figured it was a "goner." My husband explained to our daughter what we thought the situation was. Her response? "Dad, we need to wait. It will come out soon."
With that, we both shrugged our shoulders and thought, 'We'll let another week pass and when nothing happens, that will convince her of our diagnosis. Then we'll "give it back" to nature.'
Well, within two to three days of this conversation with our daughter, I turned to look at the jar and found the most beautiful moth I have EVER seen. It was black with orange spots! Surprised beyond belief, I started yelling to my daughter, "Marin, MARIN! Come quick! Come here...you've got to see this!" Amidst my excitement, I could see her enthusiasm did not equal mine. I realized in her thought, it was going to happen, it was just a matter of when. And to me, because I didn't think it would happen, you can imagine my surprise at this "miracle!"
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Her calmness, her expectation that all was going according to schedule, was thought-provoking to me. I wanted to emmulate that peace, that expectation of right timing but without agenda or willfulness. We had the joy of showing her Daddy and then we had fun releasing it.
In the end, it was a great lesson to me that all creatures bloom, unfold, emerge at their right time. It rarely occurs on our time frame and it should humble us to realize that we really are not in control of how and when these ideas come into our experience. Our job is to simply rejoice that they are on their way, as in the case of a pregnancy and baby.
Any added pressure, either to have the baby or to put it off, only compounds the effects of human will. The best thing we can do is allow all children and creatures to come forth when it's right for them and to simply encourage and support their blooming period. If we don’t learn this lesson the first time around (at the birth), we will have other chances to learn it again: when the child learns to walk for the first time, when they learn how to talk, how to ride a bike for the first time, when they excel in school or after, how they acquire their first job, how and if they get married, etc. Whether we like it or not, this all happens on their time table. There will be plenty of opportunities to let go and allow this child to come forth how and when it's right for them! This is not about getting to the destination! It's about enjoying the journey. And the sooner we realize this, the sooner we can feel at peace, appreciate the effort and rejoice with our child in the unfoldment of their metamorphosis.