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Health & Fitness

How to be Realistic With Children and Chores

Ballwin-based child development expert Pam Dyson asks whether having your children do chores seem like more trouble than it's worth.

It takes time and patience on the part of parents to allow children to do things for themselves. Assigning chores teaches children what's involved in running a household and that they're an important member of the family team.

Here are some guidelines for establishing chores with your children.

Choose chores based on your child's age and physical ability. Preschoolers can usually complete two simple jobs. As your child gets older they can be responsible for not only more chores but also ones that are more challenging.

Don't expect perfection. Your idea of how to properly make a bed is probably going to be very different from your four year old. Don't turn it into a struggle and don't resort to redoing what they've already done or they'll feel inadequate and resist helping out.

Be very specific. Instead of saying, "Clean your room," give them one task at a time. "First you put the books on the shelf.” After they complete that task give them the next one. “Now put the dirty clothes in the hamper."  Without step-by-step instructions young children often feel overwhelmed and don't know where to begin.

Children often need a reminder to do their chores. A visual schedule with photos of your child doing each chore is an effective reminder. Hang it where everyone in the family will be able to see it.

Suggestions for age-appropriate chores for children:

Ages 2-3: Put toys away, put clothes in hamper, fill pet's food dish

Ages 4-5: Make own bed, empty wastebaskets, fold laundry

Ages 6-7: Set and clear table, help make and pack lunch, sweep floor

Ages 8-9: Put away groceries, help make dinner, vacuum

Ages 10 and up: Cook simple meals with supervision, baby-sit younger siblings with adult present, clean bathroom or change bed linens

If your child forgets or refuses to do their chores don't do them yourself. Remind them of what they need to do and if they're uncooperative then there should be a consequence. If children aren't expected to follow through they might start putting off chores hoping that you will do the chores for them.

Chores teach children responsibility, self-confidence and a sense of accomplishment. They learn that being a part of the family team includes contributing to the functioning of the home. This in turn will help them grow into responsible, independent adults.

For more information on Pam Dyson and her services visit www.pamdyson.com

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